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quoting the bible

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  • quoting the bible

    If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, you shall cut off her hand. Show her no pity.

    -Deuteronomy 25:11-12

    anyone got some juicy bible quotations?
    NOSTALGIA IN THE WORST FASHION

    internet de la jerome

    because the internet | hazardous

  • #2
    psalms 137:9

    ...amazing
    NOSTALGIA IN THE WORST FASHION

    internet de la jerome

    because the internet | hazardous

    Comment


    • #3
      Sarai said to Abram: "The LORD has kept me from bearing children. Have intercourse, then, with my maid; perhaps I shall have sons through her." Abram heeded Sarai's request.

      Thus, after Abram had lived ten years in the land of Canaan, his wife Sarai took her maid, Hagar the Egyptian, and gave her to her husband Abram to be his concubine.


      -Genesis 16

      Then later in the same chapter, Hagar runs away, because Sarai abuses her....But apparently the lord is a fan of domestic abuse.


      But the LORD'S messenger told her: "Go back to your mistress and submit to her abusive treatment.

      I will make your descendants so numerous," added the LORD'S messenger, "that they will be too many to count


      And who could forget the touching tale of sodom and ghemorra, in which the lord destroys and kills an entire village for acts of perversion, saving only Lot, his wife, and his two daughters. After escaping the "vile city," Lot and his daughters hole up in a cave and have incestual relations. Sodomy bad, Incest okay!

      Since Lot was afraid to stay in Zoar, he and his two daughters went up from Zoar and settled in the hill country, where he lived with his two daughters in a cave.

      The older one said to the younger: "Our father is getting old, and there is not a man on earth to unite with us as was the custom everywhere.
      Come, let us ply our father with wine and then lie with him, that we may have offspring by our father."

      So that night they plied their father with wine, and the older one went in and lay with her father; but he was not aware of her lying down or her getting up.

      Next day the older one said to the younger: "Last night it was I who lay with my father. Let us ply him with wine again tonight, and then you go in and lie with him, that we may both have offspring by our father."

      So that night, too, they plied their father with wine, and then the younger one went in and lay with him; but again he was not aware of her lying down or her getting up.

      Thus both of Lot's daughters became pregnant by their father.


      And let's not even get into the objectification of women

      I have two daughters who have never had intercourse with men. Let me bring them out to you, and you may do to them as you please. But don't do anything to these men, for you know they have come under the shelter of my roof."
      - Lot in Genesis 19

      And this is only the first book of the bible....There's plenty of more fucked up shit to come.
      Originally posted by Tone
      Women who smoke cigarettes are sexy, not repulsive. It depends on the number smoked. less is better

      Comment


      • #4
        i smell controversy

        Comment


        • #5
          Exodus 4:25
          Then Zipporah took a flint and cut off her son's foreskin and threw it at Moses' feet, and she said, "You are indeed a bridegroom of blood to me."
          Originally posted by Jeenyuss
          sometimes i thrust my hips so my flaccid dick slaps my stomach, then my taint, then my stomach, then my taint. i like the sound.

          Comment


          • #6
            Faggot bible-bashers should be shot.

            Comment


            • #7
              Jules' bible quote is the only one I take seriously, even though it's paraphrased. Conviently enough, it is my sig.

              Comment


              • #8
                Just wait until 1ight gets in here e-praying <_<
                Originally Posted by HeavenSent
                You won't have to wait another 4 years.
                There wont be another election for president.
                Obama is the Omega President.
                http://wegotstoned.blogspot.com/

                Comment


                • #9
                  Proverbs 26:11; Dogs return to eat their vomit, just as fools repeat their foolishness.

                  I'm not going to explain each quote that people post, just consider the time it was written in.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Yeah, I do consider the time it was written in. I also consider the time it was written in when I continue to think it's a load of shit.
                    5:gen> man
                    5:gen> i didn't know shade's child fucked bluednady

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Squeezer View Post
                      Sodomy bad, Incest okay!
                      Totally spit out my coffee when I read that, thanks. <_<
                      DoCk>> im king of tw, i grant all twers permission to fornicate
                      DoCk>> there's sucking up going on? i want in on it too :P

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        -menage-a-trois? We're not talking apple seeds here:
                        *Gen:3:15: And I will put enmity (hostility) between you (Satan/Lucifer) and the woman (Eve), and between your seed (sperm i.e., bloodline) and her seed (sperm, i.e. bloodline); it will bruise your head, and you will bruise his heel.
                        -Cain was evil because he was the offspring of evil.- Cain & Abel = Paternal twins

                        -Cain is not mentioned in Adam's bloodline:
                        *Gen:5:4: And the days of Adam after he had begotten Seth were eight hundred years: and he begat sons and daughters:
                        -Seth means Substitute, to Continue Adam's bloodline after Abel's death.

                        -Nimrod became known by many names after the Babel Tower incident:
                        *Gen:14:1: And it came to pass in the days of Amraphel king of Shinar (A.K.A. Nimrod - builder of the Tower of Babel (built in Shinar)- after the confusion of tongues. Paraphrased, basically his name means, 'I fucked up'), Arioch king of Ellasar, Chedorlaomer king of Elam, and Tidal king of nations, 2: That these made war with Bera king of Sodom, and with Birsha king of Gomorrah, Shinab king of Admah, and Shemeber king of Zeboiim, and the king of Bela, which is Zoar..
                        -It's from this war that we celebrate today 'Mardi Gras' & 'Carnival'. The war was against the abominations caused by evil angels/aliens who inhabited the earth prior to the Deluge of Noah's era. They had created hybrid humans & monstrosities which had multiplied over the years and were threatening the existence of mankind as God had created it. This war looked much like the battle scene from the movie 'Chronicles of Narnia'. The Savior of mankind at that time was Nimrod to the Hebrews, Dionysis to the Romans, Bacchus to the Greeks & many other names for many other cultures preserved in legends and mythology. He was the christ before Christ; the reason for the season of Saturnalia & the Bacchanal festivals.

                        -------
                        My reason for posting this is not to convert, merely to make aware. It was for the curious and/or Christian that hasn't heard it before. Sometimes the Truth gets lost in tradition & euphemisms. If you don't give a shit, neither curious or Christian.. then don't give your shit.

                        If God doesn't seem right, someone told you wrong.

                        Eccl:8:15: Then I commended mirth, because a man has no better thing under the sun, than to eat, and to drink, and to be merry: for that will abide with him of his labour the days of his life, which God gives him under the sun.
                        Last edited by HeavenSent; 12-06-2006, 01:57 PM.

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                        • #13
                          methuselah was 969 years old

                          what an old fart


                          1996 Minnesota State Pooping Champion

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Zeebu View Post
                            methuselah was 969 years old

                            what an old fart
                            He didn't even die of old age. He was killed in the flood. Ironically, his name means "man of the dart" which basically means that he's gonna die an unnatural death... that he would be struck down prematurely.

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                            • #15
                              Deuteronomy 23:10-11 always made me giggle.

                              If one of your men is unclean because of a nocturnal emission, he is to go outside the camp and stay there. But as evening approaches he is to wash himself, and at sunset he may return to the camp.
                              Pandagirl!

                              (ph)>12 is just right

                              In the most dangerous game...warping will only prolong your defeat. ?go warpwars -Chao <ER>
                              1:Chao <ER>> what the FUCK?
                              1:Chao <ER>> I just adverted and no one came
                              1:Chao <ER>> at all
                              1:Mantra-Slider> chao
                              1:Mantra-Slider> you are in the wrong arena
                              Panda <ZH>> ?find chao <ER>
                              Chao <ER> - hero

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