View Full Version : TWDT HOT OR NOT -- WEEK 7

08-18-2014, 12:44 AM


Tool (5-2) vs Sour Milk (3-4)

WB favorites Tool notched their fifth straight TWDT-D win in a row, smearing the blood of Izor (12-10), Cres (6-10), Lena (5-10), Skepsis (4-10), and Rab (2-10) across the arena.

The Fierce trio of Apok (17-7), Lasenza (10-4) and Tripin (10-3) dominated the game, as Apok clinched the TWDT-D scoring title with a blistering record of 106-71 (15.1 kills per game) in 7 games, just ahead of Ease who finished with 87-34 (14.5 kills per game) in 6 games, although the latter's team went 7-0 and had a better KDA. Suffice to say, no one else was in their league this season in terms of production.

Rounding out the Tooltimers line was aprix with a 7-5, and 5-Star Lee with a 6-10.

HOT: Apok, with a smokin' 17-7 and the scoring title.
NOT: Skepsis, as the 9-Star Fierce veteran petered out with a paltry 4-10. Haven't seen anything this embarrassing since Steadman told someone they had "potention" in jav.


Power (7-0) vs. Unleash (3-4)

Fellow warbirding powerhouse, erm... Power, ended the regular season undefeated in TWDT-D, although Ease accomplished the same feat with Best last year, only to get 24'd in the DTD Finals. Let's hope that doesn't happen again or someone will be joining Best on Thunder's banned list.

Who Will Join Best on Thunder's Banned List BETTING ODDS:


Anyway, 6-Star superstar bwp (13-5) led the charge, ahead of Iron Survivor (11-3), Ease (10-3), Shaddowknight (9-9) and Claus (6-5).

Unleash went off quietly into the night as Geio (6-10), Beasty (5-10), Quart (1-10), solemn (5-6), wbm (3-7), and Casket (2-4) failed to muster much of a response.

HOT: bwp, with a sublime 13-5. Nice work!
NOT: Quart, with an appalling 1-10. One kill. One. In french one is "un", so feel free to unhinge your neck from your body via guillotine. Spare us from your terrible wbing and your teammates will spare no expense on your funeral.


Kamikaze (2-5) vs. Kusoge (1-6)

The two worst squads in TWDT-D went toe-to-toe (and will face each other in the Quarter-Finals next Sunday), in possibly the least interesting warbird match of the year. Honestly think I got worse just watching this match.

You can tell the skill level in this match was at an all-time high when the runaway MVPs were a javelin (Dreamwin, 14-4) and a baser (JAMAL, 13-5), taking out big name wbs like bellflowers (4-10) and skatarius (3-10).

The only actual wb in this match other than Raazi (11-10) was Geisha, who completed the worst wb season since beam's TWL 17 with a stunning 6-9 on the winning team, finishing with an overall 19-36 across 4 games. Dat 8-Star value!

Eren (8-9) and Undercut (9-9) rounded out Kusoge's line, while maketso (9-10) and Singer (9-10) completed Kamikaze's. Almost fell asleep just typing that.

HOT: dreamwin, with a mild burning sensation that is either his 14-4 in this awful game, or syphilis... knowing dreamwin, it's probably both. Finnish sluts love his javelin.
NOT: skatarius, not for your 3-10, but for constantly parroting "no one showed, can has game delayed?" week after week. The only thing i want delayed is my ejaculation into your sister.

Long as she hasn't been near dreamin...


Oblivion (2-5) vs. dun vs me (5-2)

Oblivion pulled off a big upset to keep their season alive, slamming the dunvsmeans 50-39 in the final week of play.

zeebu (15-9) and Shadowmere (13-6) went postal, carrying Rendered (9-10), Monstrous (0-4), Pressure (3-6), with a great performance from 5-Star autopilot, with a above-average 7-4.

On the losing side, Weak (14-10) did his best to stop the onslaught, but couldn't keep the likes of turban (9-10), Rough (8-10), Reckful (4-7), okyo (2-10), and Johnno (2-3) afloat.

HOT: Zeebu, with a marvelous 15-9.
HOT: Shadowere, with a mesmerizing 13-6.
NOT: okyo, with an abhorrent 2-10. How does an 8-Star warbird go -8? Are you in the Van Buren Boys? "A 2-10... no... look away, I'm hideous!"


08-18-2014, 12:46 AM

dun vs me (3-4) vs. Unleash (1-6)

turban (15-10) led the dunvsmeans to a comfortable victory over The Unleashed, alongside Kate Upton (13-6), Mythril (7-5), Rough (8-7), and TheWadoRooster (3-6).

wbm, Casket, Geio, Mighty, and Wicket all negged, thus eliminating them from playoff contention.


HOT: Turban, with a sizzlin' 15-10!
NOT: Wicket666, with a subterranean 1-10. 1 to 10 is the amount of prison time you should be serving for robbing everyone in specs desire to inhale oxygen with your insanely bad play


Kamikaze (3-4) vs. Tool (5-2)

The Kamikazeans upset the Tooltimers behind strong teamwork and balanced play from Skatarius (14-9), Singer (11-7), maketso (11-7), DOWNFALL (9-10), and 5-Star iron man Markmrw (3-6), who seems to be getting better every week, little by little.

The Tooltimers were stunned, and a top-notch efforts from Homo Superior Apok (16-10) and aprix (11-10) were marred by Homo Sapping-my-will-to-live Spawnisen (1-6), Tripin (4-10), Wildbird (1-10) and Zizzo (1-4).

HOT: skatarius, with a terrific 14-9
HOT: Apok, with a defiant 16-10
NOT: Spawnisen, Tripin, Wildbird, Zizzo... its like a buffet of bad, so hard to pick which one i want to kick in the teeth more... actually I think I've seen this on a 'Would You Rather' before...


Tough call!


Power (6-1) vs. Kusoge (3-4)

Power kept the train rollin', knocking out Sour Milk by 12, as fram (13-6) led Zidane (12-6), Ease (12-8), Claus (7-10), and FFE (5-8) to the W.

You can watch the match here: http://forums.trenchwars.org/showthread.php?44910-TWDT-J-Power-vs-Kusoge-video as Eren and Fork are hilarious, chatting about the game while Eren plays.

For the Bad Gamers, JAMAL (12-10) was on fire, but couldn't carry dreamwin (8-10), Bueno (7-10), Undercut (6-10) and Eren (4-10)

HOT: Eren, for his hilarious video commentary, and exposing that King Cobra snake Zidane getting me twofered.
NOT: Eren, for a terrible 4-10, caused by doing live commentary while in a TWDT match.


Sour Milk (3-4) vs. Oblivion (3-4)

A really tough match between two teams of even strength fighting to secure a playoff spot, this one went down to the wire as time expired, getting as close as 45-45 before diakka (12-8) quickly regained the lead by vulching Rendered (7-8) with mere seconds on the clock.

For Oblivion, Shadowmere (18-9) put in a herculean effort to lift Pressure's team to the promised land, but poor efforts and missing jav starters doomed them to fall just short, as zeebu (7-10), frightful (6-10), and Reckful (4-10) were all sub-par.

The Milkmen did just enough to win, with diakka putting the dagger in Oblivion's chest, ahead of revered (11-10), Rab (7-8), Noobius (4-3), Thugs (8-10), and Skepsis (1-6).

HOT: diakka (12-8), who was a stone-cold killer in the final minutes.
HOT: Shadowmere, with a ridiculous 18-9 effort that fell just 2 kills short of a playoff spot.
NOT: Zazerick, Wax, Kess, Fludd, Torcher... where the hell were you guys? You could have easily made the playoffs if just one of these jav starters would have showed...

08-18-2014, 12:46 AM

Power (5-2) vs. Oblivion (2-5)

Oblivion was built around its basing, and looks incredibly scary on paper, but for some reason just didn't come together this season. I don't know why, Pressure played great all season, they had Cripple and Shayde in spider, a great 6 in autopilot, a veteran LB shark in porkjet. Regardless, they needed their TWDT-B line to carry them this season, and it didn't happen.

The Oblivionites needed to win this to make the playoffs, but fell 5 minutes short.


Solacer (107-47) marshaled a contingent of spiders that included NL>Trigger (99-36), fram (73-49), and Shaddowknight (73-47), with a doodoo outing from Ease (62-65) in warbird, only managing 2 teks in wb in a 25 minute game. Boo!

Zidane (2.9 RPD) and FFE (3.0 RPD) sharked ably ahead of Claus (32-3) in terr.

For Oblivion, Cripple (108-54) led a subbed-in Shayde (69-47), Reckful (69-57), and autopilot (60-59).

porkjet (2.9 RPD) sharked alongside nokkonen (2.8 RPD), with Pressure (36-7) in ship #5.

HOT: Solacer (107-47)
NOT: Ease, negging 62-65 and an abhorrent 2 teks in WB. Are you taking piloting lessons from Wicket? I think I've found an airline hiring people of your skill level...



Unleash (2-5) vs. Tool (1-6)

In a battle of the baddies, Unleash, despite being eliminated, pressed forward, and got some redemption in spoiling Tool's ambitions for the #2 seed and a bye into the semis, crushing their hopes and dreams and knocking them down to #3 with a big basing win. Kudos.

Casket (19-4) improved to 2-0 in terr this season, helming Unleash's only two wins in base, guarded by LF (3.0 RPD) and Geio (2.8 RPD) in shark, who bullied aprix (2.8 RPD) and gilder (2.7 RPD) in shark.

The Unleash fielded wbm (91-58), Sphinx (79-25), TJ Hazuki (74-64), Oder, and Wicket666 in spider, taking on Tool's Apok (86-37), Zizzo (83-58), Mean Gene (81-32), Tripin (69-55) and Lee (68-31), ahead of 6-Star superstar warportal (33-7) in terr.

HOT: Geio and LF, for being big bullies in shark, dominating the Tooltimers
NOT: Tripin, with a smelly 69-55 in spider. You don't belong in that ship man, you Fiercers done bullying Zizzo into adding Tripin into every league? This guy feels like bad product placement.



Sour Milk (4-3) vs Kusoge (3-4)

Diakka (126-46) went Nixonian on these George McGoverns, dominating the Bad Gamers ahead of Skepsis (80-40), Sonny Chiba (66-58), Noobius (68-43), and bwp (60-59), with 6-Star superstar Knockers (2.9 RPD) and LB veteran Cranium (2.9 RPD) in shark, protecting my man Mikkiz (37-4) in a welcome return to form in terrier.

On the losing side, the Kusogians left their playoff fate in the hands of Power, as Bueno (87-32), Sedan (84-49), Undercut (79-60), TheWadoRooster (78-44), and Eren (76-61) stunk it up in spider.

BTW Zhou, nice work joining TWDT just to "beat" me in basing, then not showing up when we smashed your squad, and leaving it to me to get your sorry ass into the playoffs, you piece of overrated crap. I hear a flagroom midbar looking for someone to stick the front of their ship to and shoot 1-notch up or down regardless of how the situation develops man, better not keep it waiting, Henry Saari Sr.

JAMAL (2.8 RPD) and Mcvicar (2.8 RPD) sharked ably like they have all season, but couldn't carry Sedan's crappy spidering, as big daddy Dreamwin went 25-12 in the loss.

HOT: diakka, with a ravenous 126-46; Wowza!
NOT: Sedan. Heard from your own teammates you were complete trash. Do them a favor and stay retired, Gordie Howe on the Whalers.


Kamikaze (7-0) vs. dun vs me (4-3)

Kamikaze did the near impossible, going a perfect 7-0 in TWDT-B in a league stacked with basers, winning in complete blowouts and by the narrowest of margins (15:00-14:58 vs. Oblivion, gadzuks!)

They muzzled the dunvsmeans in Week 7, as trance (100-32) unfurled his spidering sails and led skatarius (77-46), Singer (65-27), Smoremaker-in-Chief El Pedo (65-27), and Markmrw (57-40).

Vatican Assassin continued to impress with a stellar 3.1 RPD with his partner-in-crime DOWNFALL who sported a matching 3.1 RPD. Kudos!

In terr, maketso (33-9, 2 teks) took on draft and Stayon's duties with aplomb, despite getting outslinged by fellow terrier Turban (52-11, 4 teks) who led a spirited, aggressive perforance, despite his team getting outkilled by 100.

For the losing dunvsmeans, hulk (2.6 RPD) and mythril (2.7 RPD) lost their first match together, ahead of spiders Kate Upton (71-42), Davy (59-48), KATC (47-42), Johnno (38-67), and okyo (41-32).

HOT: trance, with a stinging 100-32.
NOT: Johnno, with a disasterous 38-67. Peeyew!

08-18-2014, 12:47 AM

08-18-2014, 12:47 AM

Power went 3-0 for the second week in a row, turning a lead that was a mere 2-win lead in the standings after Week 5 into a 6-win chasm. Dun vs Me had a paltry 1-2 final week, but managed to hold onto the bye by the skin of their teeth, edging out Kamikaze with a favorable head-to-head record against them.

Kamikaze won a crucial swing match against the dunvsmeans, going 2-1 for the week and tying them in overall wins, but had already sealed their fate dropping warbird and javelin matches against them earlier in the season, and had to accept the #3 seed. They did, however, manage to close out the season with a perfect 7-0 in base, which was very impressive.

Tool had good chances at the #2 seed as well, but got stunned by Unleash in the final game of the day in basing, as Commodo's team played spoiler and dropped them to 4th. Nevertheless, the Tooltimers will still be favorites to take home the TWDT-D crown, and possibly the TWDT-J one as well.

Sour Milk had a good week, going 2-1 and sitting comfortably in 5th, as they get ready to take on Tool in the Quarter-Finals.

The one week Kusoge was without their best warbird they actually won their only TWDT-D game of the season, which turned out to be incredibly important as they lost javs and base, leaving their playoff fate in the hands of Power, who had defeated them in TWDT-J minutes earlier. Their 1-2 proved just enough as Oblivion fell to Power in TWDT-B, as they slinked into the #6 seed, where they'll face Kamikaze next week.

Oblivion had a favorable tiebreaker with Kusoge, and after a clutch wb victory, they needed only to win jav or base to make the playoffs, but with almost all their DTJ starters absent, fell 47-45 to Sour Milk, then in base dropped 15-10 to Power, falling 1 win short of knocking the Bad Gamers out. They lost by 2 kills in TWDT-J this week, and a 15:00-14:58 TWDT-B several weeks ago, that would have seen them through. A game of inches...

Unleash was out of the running early with a wb loss, but persevered nonetheless, spoiling Tool's impressive 9-6 finish over the final 5 weeks by upsetting them in TWDT-B and knocking them out of 2nd place, where they would have earned a bye into the Semi-Finals in all three leagues. Good job!

08-18-2014, 10:10 AM
Kamikaze did the near impossible, going a perfect 7-0 in TWDT-B in a league stacked with basers, winning in complete blowouts and by the narrowest of margins (15:00-14:58 vs. Oblivion, gadzuks!)

They muzzled the dunvsmeans in Week 7, as trance (100-32) unfurled his spidering sails and led skatarius (77-46), Singer (65-27), Smoremaker-in-Chief El Pedo (65-27), and Markmrw.

Didn't even post his score. Dead.

08-18-2014, 02:33 PM
Didn't even post his score. Dead.:(

08-18-2014, 05:01 PM
Didn't even post his score. Dead.

Fixed, was just an oversight. Don't pick on new players FFE u big bully, or I'll spam Eren calling you the worst jav on Power on a loop into chat >:)

08-18-2014, 06:01 PM
Added HOT OF THE WEEK and STANDINGS synopsis

08-19-2014, 12:08 PM
It was a fun season Unleash... :D