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HOT or NOT -- WEEK 1

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  • HOT or NOT -- WEEK 1





    TWDT-D



    Silence vs. Blooms
    50-29

    It seems Blooms has yet to blossom in warbird, as maketso's squadron got shitstomped by a whopping 21-point margin in their season opener, and may require more time in the greenhouse. In the words of the immortal Rodney Dangerfield, put her back in, she's not done yet!

    Turban was the lone bright spot in an otherwise gloomy performance for the Bloomers with a palatable 10-10, as the aptly named bellflowers (5-10) negged alongside a2m (2-4), Keith (2-6), maketso (1-3), and Spawnisen (7-10).

    Commodo (13-6), on the other hand (leaf?), led the Silencers to a resounding victory in his opener, decimating the opposition with a sizzling score, ahead of Best (11-10), Kim (10-4), Lasenza (9-5), and Singer (7-4) as their entire line went positive -- Kudos!

    HOT: Commodo, with a commanding 13-6.
    NOT: Clark Kentaro (2-7), whose kryptonite is apparently doing anything remotely competent in his own ship
    NOT: Keith (2-6). Better chance of seeing a positive result watching an AIDS test in a nunnery than Keith in wb.




    Thunder vs. Power
    50-23

    After going undefeated in the regular season last year, Power opened the 2015 season with one of the all-time worst performances in TWDT-D, losing by an astounding 27 kills. Nice work, zidiots!

    Ease led his team with a resounding 13-2 performance, ahead of JAMAL (12-6), Shadowmere (11-6), 5-Star superstar Lena (9-5), and Weaver (5-4).

    The Powergonians all negged: 2pacZ (8-10), dour (3-10), fram (4-10), Rab (3-10), zidane (5-10). This is what I imagine Zidane's pregame speech was like:

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    HOT: Ease (13-2), destroying his former TWDT team and (I assume) cannibalizing their corpses to absorb their essence, as is the Florida custom
    NOT: It's hard to single out a player from this buffet of suck, so let's just say Zidane, for drafting a wb line so bad 2pacZ is the best player in it. That's like giving the lamest Avenger his own series. 2pacZ is the Hawkeye of wbs.

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    Meteorite vs. ill
    50-44

    The Meteorites slugged it out with ill, narrowly edging the Weezers out 50-44 as Mythril (19-8) stormed out the gates with a performance for the ages, as aprix (12-10) continues to be one of the most valuable TWDT players two years running, helping carry mediocre to sub-par outings from Geio (7-6), Jessup (8-10) and madmaxx53 (4-10).

    On the losing side, wiibimbo (12-10), Tripin (11-10) and stung (11-10) put in strong performances, but were ultimately sunk by poor play from TJ Hazuki (6-10) and wicket666 (4-10), falling just short of victory. If only they had one more warbird, a TWLD veteran who carried his team last year, like, oh, I dunno, say Tarnish, so they could compete well in two leagues.

    HOT: Mythril, with a Herculean 19-8, rekindling his dominance over TWDT-D once again.
    NOT: wicket410 (4-10)




    WIN OR DIE vs. Patouf
    50-44

    The Winordites claimed their first win of the season over Patouf, as the Tabarcats were within a hair of victory, but just couldn't claw their way to the W.

    WIN OR DIE won without Racka even present, as dreamwin (12-9) led the sortie alongside Kira_Yamato~ (11-10), Flew (9-6), devilish (9-9), and torcher (9-10).

    For Patouf, zeebu (14-10) and Siaxis (12-10) represented imminent lethality, but were saddled with atrocious outings from Steep (1-7) and Tiny (1-3), and unacceptable scores from Rasaq (8-10) and Tarnish (8-10), who are way too good to be getting downed by the likes of WIN OR DIE's Mickey Mouse line.

    HOT: dreamwin (12-9), leading a jav line to victory over a legitimate wb line
    HOT: Zeebu (14-10), turning in a rousing performance despite his team falling short
    NOT: Steep (1-7). Combined with Tiny (1-3) to make a number 2.
    Last edited by ogron; 02-17-2015, 12:13 PM.
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  • #2
    TWDT-J

    TWDT-J



    Meteorite vs. Silence
    50-39

    aprix (16-5) continued his rampage across TWDT, annihilating Silence with a scintillating performance in javelin, leading 7-time champ euforia (12-9), Fork (9-5), Shock Therapy (8-10), and madmaxx53 (1-10).

    The Silencers looked less like lethal weapons and more like mimes trapped in an invisible box, which is an apropos analogy for the arena the Meteorites hunted them down in, as Oderus Everdeen (5-10) got his In Memoriam fireworks early, alongside fellow tributes bad game (0-3), Singer (3-7), Kim (4-3), Commodo (8-10), Lasenza (5-5), and Best, who shined despite his team's abhorrent performance, notching an impressive 13-10.

    HOT: aprix, with a stellar 16-5.
    NOT: madmaxx53 (1-10): The only time a 1 should be next to a 10 is when Carrot Top is co-hosting an awards show with Scarlett Johansson




    Power vs. Blooms
    50-36

    Defending TWDT-J champs Power continued their dominance in javelin, as Fram (15-6) powered an impressive offense ahead of Rough (11-7), Zidane (10-10), Wazzaa.NL (8-7) and Healt (5-6).

    Turban (10-10), Spawnisen (9-10), and maketso (9-10) put in respectable performances for Blooms, but couldn't carry bellflowers (2-10) or Clark Kentaro (3-10).

    HOT: Fram, with a monstrous 15-6.
    NOT: Clark Kentaro (3-10). You should change to your name to Kentaro Brockman, because you're a fucking anchor.

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    WIN OR DIE
    vs. ill
    50-38

    Dreamwin (13-4) continued his strong play this week, but was outshined by a godly performance from fellow Winordite torcher (17-6), who absolutely pulverized TJ Hazuki's squadon, with Kira_Yamato~ (12-9), Darkgriz (3-10) and Haze (3-9) in tow.

    ill struggled against the onslaught, as Rodney (8-8), Tripin (8-10), wbm (7-10), Mikkiz (6-10), Magica (6-10), and stung (0-2) all went into the red.

    HOT: torcher (17-6), who took a... *thinking of potential weapons that fit torcher's name* ...hatchet to the Weezers, sizzling them for a whopping 17 kills and going +11. Someone call the burn unit!
    NOT: Haze and Darkgriz, going a combined 6-19 on the winning team. You two must be descended from Edmund Hillary, because you got fucking carried.




    Thunder vs. Patouf
    50-39

    The Thundarians managed a tough victory over a competent foe in one of the strongest matchups this week, as Shadow-no-mere-mortal (17-6) rampaged across enemy lines like a demigod, putting Steadman (10-7), Ease (8-8), JAMAL (7-8), and zanaluth (5-10) on his back.

    Patouf fared well against the javing juggernauts, with good outings from Zazerick (12-10), Rasaq (7-10) and siaxis (7-10), but King Bueno (3-7) was unusually sub-par, and Stayon (4-3) should have started himself in such a hard match, as the Tabarcats fell by 11.

    HOT: Shadowmere. Shadow continues his recent emergence as one of the most dominant javelins in the game, decimating Patouf with a mesmerizing 17-6.
    NOT: Bueno (3-7): One of last years best overall TWDT players, opened the season with a poor performance. No bueno.
    Last edited by ogron; 02-17-2015, 10:51 AM.
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    • #3
      TWDT-B

      TWDT-B


      Patouf vs. Meteorite
      15:00-2:52

      This was a St-Valentine's Day massacre, as Patouf's 6-Star superstar Bueno (85-20) led Zeebu (74-38), Trasher (66-19), nanto (72-38) and Trench Wars Basing Cup champion and 2014 TWLB Week 1 MVP over Warhable siaxis (52-35), behind strong sharking from porkjet (2.9 RPD) and olde (2.9 RPD), and a magical performance from Heaven (32-0) in terr, notching the first ace of the season. Congrats!

      On the not-so-winning side, the Meteorite's had aprix (65-34), Megalo (56-40), Zizzo (48-30), Kthx (36-70), and madmaxx53 (32-60) in spider, with Geio (2.7 RPD) and Mythril (2.9 RPD) in shark, anchored by euforia (18-17) in terr, which is always a good indicator that you're not going to win a basing match.

      HOT: Heaven (32-0), with the first ace of the season in terr, and an impressive 32 kills and 1 tek!
      NOT: Kthx (36-70), with maybe the worst spider score I've ever seen a non-pubber get in TWDT-B. How I picture Kthx at his computer during this match:

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      Blooms vs. Thunder
      15:00-11:28

      Blooms upset Thunder with a fantastic basing game, as 6-Star Mango. (58-2, 2 Teks) put in the performance of a lifetime, notching an out-of-this-world score in terrier, in no small part due to TWLB Finals sharks a2m (2.8 RPD) and menelvagor (2.7 RPD, 2 Teks) watching over him, and strong spidering from Mean Gene (104-29), Reckful (88-58), bellflowers (87-58), Turban (80-63), and M_M God/maketso.

      Ease and Co. nearly closed the gap on them after being down 8-2 early on, but fell short as Shadowmere (39-11) terred ahead of JAMAL (2.9 RPD) and 6-Star superstar beam (2.7 RPD), with Weaver (99-59), Ease (87-45), bumpa (85-47), solidify (72-57), and zanaluth (58-87) in spider.

      HOT: mango. (58-2), with an otherworldly terring performance to ruin Thunder's expected 3-0 start.
      NOT: Shadowterr (39-11), 11 deaths with that kind of shark/spider support to mango.'s 2 is terr-ible. Honorable Mention to Steadman for knowing he lagged and demanding to be terred anyway, forcing muh boi Shadow into action despite not having based in 5 years.

      That's like having Mark Sanchez and Michael Vick as your quarterback options on the Jets. The solution there is to become a Giants fan.




      Power vs. Silence
      15:00-9:56

      Another good match, and another good comeback attempt, as Silence almost erased a 10:00-2:00 deficit behind 80 bursts in 2 minutes from Oder (49-8, 2 Teks), who terred for the Silencers ahead of Commodo (2.9 RPD, 2 Teks) and 5-Star boblemoche (2.6 RPD), with spidering from Bacon (75-57), Mcvicar (74-58), Lasenza (66-43), Singer (60-59) and Kim (58-53).

      The Powergonians were led by Ogron (42-5, 2 Teks) in terr, continuing the trend of strong terring performances this week, with good sharking from Zidane (3.0 RPD) and Hulk (2.8 RPD), ahead of Rab (100-18), Rough (95-37), Solace (89-40), a pushy Healt (69-72), and 5-Star Wazzaa.NL (68-35) in spider.

      HOT: Ogron (42-5), with a dominant and aggressive performance, a pair of teks, 0 bad deaths, and escaping about 19x on 100-300 energy. I usually don't give myself MVP, but it's the week of the terr, and I was amazing.
      NOT: Commodo, for thinking adding a 5-Star in shark is a good idea.




      WIN OR DIE vs. ill
      15:00-13:15

      This was perhaps the match of the week, as WIN OR DIE clinched this one by a minute and change over a strong basing squad in ill.

      The Weezers were helmed by TWDT-B 2013/2014 Champion Mikkiz (27-10), with sharking from Producer (2.6 RPD), Rodney (2.9 RPD), and Gurliver (2.6 RPD), with wbm (108-64) leading their spids, ahead of jammu (103-74), stung (96-68), Jatt (92-44), and Tripin.

      For the winning team, the Winordites were anchored by veteran mainstay Cintra (37-4) in terr, who put a strong performance, with DOWNFALL (2.8 RPD) and Markmrw (2.8 RPD) in shark, and spidering from skatarius (116-52), dreamwin (103-64), TheWadoRooster (102-65), devilish (72-56), and Kira_Yamato~ (88-71).

      HOT: Cintra (37-4), with a strong, 4-death performance in a 28+ minute game, helping secure the W.
      NOT: Mikkiz (27-10), 10 deaths to Cint's 4 with his team only outkilled 568-542, not acceptable for the current TWLB and TWDT-B champ.
      Last edited by ogron; 02-17-2015, 12:34 PM.
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      • #4
        Standings

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        Last edited by ogron; 02-17-2015, 10:04 AM.
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        • #5
          Demonyms

          TWDT 2015 Demonyms:

          Power - Powergonians
          WIN OR DIE - Winordites
          Blooms - Bloomers
          Patouf - Tabarcats
          Silence - Silencers
          Thunder - Thundarians
          ill - Weezers
          Meteorite - Meteorites




          TWDT 2014 Demonyms:

          Kamikaze - Kamikazeans
          Unleash - The Unleashed
          Kusoge - Bad Gamers
          Power - Powergonians
          Oblivion - Oblivionites
          Tool - Tooltimers
          Dun vs Me - dunvsmeans
          Sour Milk - The Milkmen
          Last edited by ogron; 02-17-2015, 12:37 PM.
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          • #6
            Player of the Week

            HOT OF THE WEEK


            WB of the Week: Mythril (19-8), carrying a ragtag band of Meteorites to victory in a tough 50-44 match.
            Jav of the Week: Shadowmere (17-6) and torcher (17-6), as the pair recorded identical monster scores to carry their respective TWDT-J games
            Baser of the Week: mango. (58-2), with a ridiculous score to upset Thunder in terr and perhaps the best 6-Star terr performance ever in TWDT-B history. Honorable Mention to Heaven, with a beautiful 32-0 ace.


            Player of the Week: Dreamwin
            Led WIN OR DIE to the only 3-0 this week, managing an impressive 12-9 in a big upset in TWDT-D with a bunch of javs in, then notching a 13-4 in TWDT-J to help down ill, and a 103-64 in spider to slay ill in TWDT-B in what was the toughest match of the week, acing their doubleheader against TJ Hazuki's squad. Kudos!
            Last edited by ogron; 02-17-2015, 12:12 PM.
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            • #7
              thanks as always, I'm working on a little project myself which will be out after next weeks matches.

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              • #8
                I had a 5-1 start in DTD, and went 6-10 in the end.. Rip. We came back from a 8-5 deficit in basing, almost pulled the comeback out. Oh well.
                TWLD Champion 2014
                TWDTB Champion 2013
                TWDTB Champion 2016
                TWDTB Champion 2017
                TWDTB Champion 2019.. my last one.
                -tj hazuki/hazuki :wub:

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                • #9
                  Pretty sure I was robbed of basing HOT

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                  • #10
                    Good write-up, thanks for your work
                    ♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫
                    Failure teaches success.
                    . â–²
                    ▲ ▲

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                    • #11
                      anchored by euforia (18-17) in terr, which is always a good indicator that you're not going to win a basing match.
                      He didn't terr full game though.
                      lemar> im seriously gonna get someone to hack your name and disolve that shit sqd of yours

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                      • #12
                        damn that was actually a very entertaining write up. You're still kind of a douche nozzle claus, but nice work
                        JAMAL> didn't think there was a worse shark than midoent but the_paul takes it



                        turban> claus is the type of person that would eat shit just so you would have to smell his breath

                        Originally posted by Ilya;n1135707
                        the_paul: the worst guy, needs to go back to school, bad at his job, guido

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by the_paul View Post
                          damn that was actually a very entertaining write up. You're still kind of a douche nozzle claus, but nice work
                          nicest thing the_paul has ever said to me, ill take it!

                          also, i actually used to write nice, positive HoNs that focused mainly on good scores and successes, and a 30-2 poll vote wanted me to be as big of a douche nozzle as possible, so they're intentionally mean
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                          • #14
                            yes do not write hot or nots

                            write hot or not​s


                            1996 Minnesota State Pooping Champion

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                            • #15
                              Pretty nice write up, except Boblemoche is a really solid 5* shark. And I had no subs for my twdtb game and had to play with an extra low-vp player, so not much choice really ; )
                              You come at the King, you best not miss.

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