Clerks II

[Squeezer]

No, it's Clerks. I just watched Clerks last week and that was pretty much dead on. Mallrats was the hamster up his ass ordeal.

I was wrong, but Mallrats is pretty much the same, but slightly different. In Mallrats Brody's cousin tries to suck his own dick, and his friend asks him if he did, to which he replies, when the paramedics showed up, they found his balls on his chin.

[DoTheFandango]

I don't think you have the right movie, seeing as how it was Randal's cousin that died when he broke his neck trying to suck his own dick. Since Brody and Randal aren't related, I doubt that he would make the same joke twice.

RANDAL
That's nothing compared to how my
cousin Walter died.

DANTE
How'd he die?

RANDAL
Broke his neck.

DANTE
That's embarrassing?

RANDAL
He broke his neck trying to suck
his own dick.

[Ignominy]

Kevin Smith lashed out at Joel Siegel after the movie critic stormed out of a screening of Clerks II during a scene where the characters are discussing hiring woman to perform sexual favors on a donkey. Siegel got out of his seat and yelled: "Time to go! First movie I've walked out of in 30 fucking years!" In response, Kevin Smith wrote on his MySpace:

"Getting a bad review from Siegel is like a badge of honor. This is the guy who stole his mustachioed-critic shtick from Gene Shalit years ago, and still refuses to give it back. This is a guy who seemingly prides himself on his own nyuk-nyuk wordplay. For 'Pirates 2,' he made us all titter with 'Yo, Ho, Ho and a Bottle of Fun' . . . He made us squeal with delight when he wrote, 'Wheelie Good Time for "Cars." ' I mean, Fozzy fucking Bear laughs at this guy."

And there's more: "I don't need Joel Siegel to suck my dick the way he apparently sucks M. Night Shyamalan's, gushing over his flick ['The Lady in the Water'] before he's even seen it, but shit, man - how about a little common fucking courtesy? You never, never disrupt a movie, simply because you don't like it. Cardinal rule of moviegoing: Shut your fucking mouth while the movie's playing.

"I don't come down to your job and slap the taste out of your mouth for coming up with a line like, ' "Shark Tale" Is a Halibut Good Time' - so don't fuck with my stuff while it's still screening . . . What are you, a 12-year-old boy cutting loose with your pals at a Friday night screening of 'Scary Movie' 4' while your parents are in a theater down the hall watching 'The Devil Wears Prada'? Leave the diva-like behavior and drama-queen antics to the movie stars, not the movie reviewer, ya' rude-ass prick."

full article
kevin smith's full response on myspace

[Jerome Scuggs]

I was wrong, but Mallrats is pretty much the same, but slightly different. In Mallrats Brody's cousin tries to suck his own dick, and his friend asks him if he did, to which he replies, when the paramedics showed up, they found his balls on his chin.

No, squeez is right - I think this is part of the "jersey trilogy" continuity that kevin smith has going on. In Mallrats, the "gerbil in ass" thing happens, but then something is said along the lines of "no kidding, i have an uncle who died trying to suck his own dick"

Think about it - all three movies reference the chick who dies in the swimming pool. It's mentioned in the first one when the bodybuilder guy talks to Dante (Rick Darris? -the guy who's there when Dante gets written up for underage selling to minors), and, duh, Dante and Randall go to her funeral. It's basically the reason Mallrats happened, and in Chasing Amy, you hear some people talk about it in the bleachers at the hockey game.

Little things like that are peppered through the films.

[Squeezer]

Same with the monkey.

In Mallrats, Jay and SB talk about how they should get a monkey, and sure enough, in J&SB Strike Back, they get a monkey.

BTW, has anyone seen this yet?

[gran guerrero]

besides dogma and mallrats, i think i was like high watchin the others

[Chao.]

Just saw the late showing of it. There are some funny scenes ("Pillowpants" ordeal was the funniest thing in it to me) but it just isn't as good as the first one. I think taping it in color really did make a big difference.

[Liquid Blue]

Fuck that noise this shit was hillarious, I saw it last night. Movie fucking rocked, definately worth the money.