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Thread: Gnomes, they do exist.

  1. #1
    soup
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    Gnomes, they do exist.

    Gnomes are very widespread species, known to a number of human races. Germans name them Erdmanleins, except in the Alpine areas, where they are called Heinzemannchens. In Denmark and Norway they are Nisse; Nissen is a Swedish variation. In Brittany they are called Nains. Tontti to the Finns and Foddenskkmaend is their name in Iceland. The Polish call they by the familar Gnom. Bulgaria and Albania, however, use Dudje. In Hungary, Yugoslavia, and Czechoslovakia, Gnomes are called Mano. The Dutch use Kabouter and the Belgian, Skritek. Switzerland and Luxembourg use the same name, Kleinmanneken, which means "littlemen." Domovoi Djedoes is used in western Russia.


    Race :Gnomes consist of a number of different types. The most common is the Forest Gnome who rarely comes into contact with man. The Garden Gnome lives in old gardens and enjoys telling melancoly tales. Dune Gnomes are slightly larger than their woodland breathren and choose remarkably drab clothing. House Gnomes have the most knowledge of man, often speaking his language. It is from this family that Gnome Kings are chosen. Farm Gnomes resemble their House brethen, but are more conservative in manner and dress. Siberian Gnomes have been more interbred than other Gnomes and associate freely with trolls. They are much larger than the other types and have an infinately more nasty nature. It is best never to evoke the ire of such Gnomes for they delight in revenge.

    Origin riginating in Scandinavia, Gnomes later migrated to the lowlands some 1500 years ago.

    Description : Gnomes are usually an average of 15 centimeters tall, but with its cap on it appears much taller. Their feet are somewhat pigeon toed which gives them an extra edge on speed and agility through the wood and grass. The males weigh 300 grams, and female is 250-275 grams.

    The male wears a peaked red cap, a blue brown-green pants, and ether felt boots, birch shoes, or wooden clogs. Around his waist is a belt with a tool kit attached, holding a knife, hammer, etc. They are fair of face, though the boast rosy red cheeks. Long beards adorn their faces and turn gray far sooner than their hair.

    The female wears gray or khaki clothing, consisting of a blouse and skirt (to ankles). She also has black-gray knee socks and high shoes or slippers. Before she is married, she dons a green cap.

    Prior to marriage her hair in hanging down, the outfit is complemented by a green cap and braids with which later disappear under a scarf while the green cap is replaced by more somber tones after she marries.

    Friends/Foes :Males are the guardians of animal kind and show little preference for their animal friends, not withstanding their aversion to cats both wild and domesticated. They are known for freeing wildlife from man's traps and for operating on farm animals whose owners have neglected them or who are simply to poor to afford a vetrinarian. Their enemies are mainly Trolls, and other beings who would try to destroy them or their homes. Otherwise, they are mostly peaceful beings.

    Lore : Gnomes tend to live in hilly meadows and rocky woodlands. In Huygen's book, it says they live in three trees, the house itself, with a hidden entrance from another tree, and then a third is the supply room, with grains, beans, potatoes and everything else the gnomes may need during the winter.

    Powers :Most Gnomes are 7 times stronger than a man, can run at speeds of 35 miles per hour, and have better sight than a hawk. These abilities help the Gnome to do many things, such as find wounded, dying animals for which they feel they are responsible for. Because of their love for animals, all the animals of the forest are the Gnome's friends and are willing to help him at any time. Many people say that gnomes have elevated practical jokes to an art form. But most especially they love gems and jewelry and are considered by many to be the best gem cutters and jewelers in existence

    Element : Earth

    They are generally vegetarian and never worry. The main meal consists of: Nuts (hazelnuts, walnuts, beechnuts, etc), mushrooms, peas, beans, a small potato, applesauce, fruit, berries (all kinds), tubers, spices, vegetables, and preserves for dessert. As a beverage, the gnome drinks mead dew (fermented honey), fermented raspberries (which have a very high alcohol content), and spiced gin as a nightcap. The gnome eats no meat, so often consumes the nectar of the high rotein plant called 'Vicia Sepuim'. fluffy willow catkins, dressing them up like dolls.











    Claims of Gnome sightings

    Despite the fact that Gnomes are mythical creatures with no real existence, there have been certain cases where people have claimed to have encountered real, living gnomes, that are not fictional. There is no sustainable proof that the sightings have actually happened and it is commonly believed that the claimed sightings have all been cases of deception by the claimants and/or film makers. Unlike sightings of other creatures that are not believed to exist, such as the Loch Ness monster and the chupacabra, which can be subscribed to misconception of gullibility, with the sightings of gnomes this is most certainly not the case.

    [edit] Argentina, 2007-08

    The Gnome sightings in Argentina is a reported wave of sightings of Gnomes in General Güemes, Salta, Argentina that came to its climax in 2007. The craze was similar to that of the chupacabra, which had also happened in the Americas. Some reports claim that a survey showed that 90% of locals believed in the creature with over a hundred claiming to have actually seen one of the creatures, however contrasting reports claim that very few locals actually believe in it. [9]

    Locals had reported seeing gnomes (or duendes) for several decades, however reports increased in 2007 after railway workers reported seeing one run around the tracks. They reported seeing a knee height humanoid creature wearing a pointy hood who ran sideways.

    The story was reported by El Tribuno in Argentina, and then The Sun in the UK. It was then picked up by Fox News in the USA, before becoming something of an urban legend. Since then, many skeptics have declared the story to be false, claiming that the video used as the main evidence is faked and that reports of the beliefs were exaggerated.

    Various video recordings claiming to depict the creatures were uploaded onto websites such as YouTube. The majority follow the same formula of a group of teenagers getting scared by a gnome, and running away screaming. It is clear, however, that all videos are set up by the makers and do not contain any real sightings of gnomes. [10][11]

    May 2007 Video

    In this video, lasting only 16 seconds, a group of teenage males are playing football outside when they are terrified by a 'gnome' that appears to be only a few inches tall. [12]

    October 2007 Video

    Two males are playing football indoors, when they are terrified at a creature that runs along the floor. [13]

    March 2008 Video

    In March 2008, a 'creepy gnome' who wears a pointy hat, that locals claim stalks the streets of General Guemes, Salta, Argentina,[14][15] was caught on video by local teenagers on their mobile phone, led by Jose Alvarez, who commented on how he and some friends had encountered it one night.
    Frame from the March 2008 Argentine Gnome video

    "We were chatting about our last fishing trip. It was one in the morning. I began to film a bit with my mobile phone while the others were chatting and joking. Suddenly we heard something — a weird noise as if someone was throwing stones... We looked to one side and saw that the grass was moving. To begin with we thought it was a dog but when we saw this gnome-like figure begin to emerge we were really afraid... This is no joke. We are still afraid to go out — just like everyone else in the neighbourhood now... One of my friends was so scared after seeing that thing that we had to take him to the hospital."[16]

    The video quality is fairly blurred and dark. It goes from showing the teenagers chatting, to zooming in on something rustling about in some long grass several metres away. The creature then dashes across a field, running sideways, and this is filmed for a brief few seconds.

    A second video, virtually identical to the first, but with certain distinct differences, was later released on the internet, confirming that two very similar, yet different, versions of the account were filmed, providing strong evidence that the video was faked. [17]

    October 2008 Video

    On October, 2008, South America’s ‘creepy gnome’ or ‘midget monster’ had again caused panic among locals. The video was shot by Juan Carlos Roldan, his brother Javier and 5 friends, by the water fountain in Clodomira, Santiago del Estero, Argentina, and running down Avenue San Martin.[18][19]







    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=81OwP7RJ3BI

  2. #2
    soup
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    For all the gnome haters





    Gnomes have feelings too



    Gnomes at a festival

  3. #3
    soup
    Guest

    Gnome got arrested for hustling, can't stop a player you know



    His house, this gnome lives in BRASIL, it's easy to see because there is only 1 tree




    They travel a lot




    http://www.travellinggnome.net/

  4. #4
    Tower disorder's Avatar
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    Maybe they're the missing link between bacteria and midgets. Sasquatch is actually a myriad of them bundled together to look more intimidating. But what do they account for? I can't really think of anything personally. Maybe they're endangered or they're agoraphobic like the aliens. Either way I would love one as a pet. In the Harry Potter books they mistreat the gnomes. I wouldn't be surprised if they were hiding from Brits. Why aren't there any black or asian gnomes at that festival, and why is the Brasilian gnome so pale? They all obviously emigrated from a higher latitude where their melanocytes regressed. Gnomes need wages too. I suggest we feed them packing peanuts until they develop a crude form of sign language in protest. We can clone them so they don't have arms, and make them run in hamster wheels. I bet they're already doing it inside those nuclear power plants, in those cylinders they don't let you fool around with.


    What did I tell you?!
    The effects that are planned to be studied on the kinetic level are: Laminar and turbulent flow; the transition between both; thermodynamics and self-organisation of complex plasma flows; solitons and shocks; interfaces and plasma instabilities; agglomeration and disagglomeration. For low-frequency excitation and confining particles modulated RF coils and high-voltage supplies are foreseen.

  5. #5
    capscone
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    sounds like useless crap to me

    only good gnome was David

    discuss
    violence> dont talk 2 me until u got 900+fbook friends and can take 1 dribble from the 3 point line n dunk


    [Aug 23 03:03] Oops: 1:siaxis> you try thta ill play possom then reverse roundhouse kick your life
    [Aug 23 03:20] money: LOL NOT QUITE VIO BUT 5:siaxis> you try thta ill play possom then reverse roundhouse kick your life

  6. #6
    Ladies... Squeezer's Avatar
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    /x/ is obsessed with fucking gnomes right now.

    and slender man
    Quote Originally Posted by Tone View Post
    Women who smoke cigarettes are sexy, not repulsive. It depends on the number smoked. less is better

  7. #7
    Chi Town Representin Exalt's Avatar
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    What about the keebler elves? They live in a tree and are super small. Are they gnomes or elves? And why do they make cookies and shit like that? Also, have you ever seen a female keebler elf? Do they have sex or do they just live forever to make cookies? I would rather have sex than make cookies, although maybe the elves have sex with the cookies they make. That could give it the magic dust that makes the cookies so tasty.

  8. #8
    Tower disorder's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Exalt View Post
    What about the keebler elves? They live in a tree and are super small. Are they gnomes or elves? And why do they make cookies and shit like that? Also, have you ever seen a female keebler elf? Do they have sex or do they just live forever to make cookies? I would rather have sex than make cookies, although maybe the elves have sex with the cookies they make. That could give it the magic dust that makes the cookies so tasty.
    They are asexual, and use twigs from the tree to inseminate themselves with the cookies. The angiosperm from the wood pulp causes small hives to appear by their navels, which are then greased up with acorn lube. Smaller elves spring forth in cocoons of cookie dough, which they defecate into plastic containers. The tree is then given the carcasses of the older elves, sort of like how a snake sheds it's skin.

    The one on the right is ready to molt.

    Located at One Hollow Tree Lane in Elmhurst, Illinois 60126. the Keebler Company was named after Godfrey Keebler, a baker who opened a shop in Philadelphia in 1853. In 1927, the Keebler bakery joined forces with other bakers to form the United Biscuit Company (later headquartered in West Drayton, Middlesex, England.) On March 2001, the Kellogg Company from Battle Creek, Michigan acquired Keebler Foods Company for $3.9 billion. The Keebler Company also makes Zesta Crackers, Wheatable, O'Boises, Ripplin' Snack Chips and Town House Crackers.
    Last edited by disorder; 07-20-2009 at 11:53 AM.
    The effects that are planned to be studied on the kinetic level are: Laminar and turbulent flow; the transition between both; thermodynamics and self-organisation of complex plasma flows; solitons and shocks; interfaces and plasma instabilities; agglomeration and disagglomeration. For low-frequency excitation and confining particles modulated RF coils and high-voltage supplies are foreseen.

  9. #9
    soup
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    Quote Originally Posted by disorder View Post
    Maybe they're the missing link between bacteria and midgets. Sasquatch is actually a myriad of them bundled together to look more intimidating. But what do they account for? I can't really think of anything personally. Maybe they're endangered or they're agoraphobic like the aliens. Either way I would love one as a pet. In the Harry Potter books they mistreat the gnomes. I wouldn't be surprised if they were hiding from Brits. Why aren't there any black or asian gnomes at that festival, and why is the Brasilian gnome so pale? They all obviously emigrated from a higher latitude where their melanocytes regressed. Gnomes need wages too. I suggest we feed them packing peanuts until they develop a crude form of sign language in protest. We can clone them so they don't have arms, and make them run in hamster wheels. I bet they're already doing it inside those nuclear power plants, in those cylinders they don't let you fool around with.

    !
    No black or asian gnomes because they represent a PERFECT world.

    And the brasilian gnome, look above, perfect world.

  10. #10
    too old for this shit shawn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by soupero View Post
    No black or asian gnomes because they represent a PERFECT world.

    And the brasilian gnome, look above, perfect world.
    D: , i thought we had somthing special soup
    O o
    /¯¯___________________________ _____
    IMMA FIRIN MAH LAZER!! Blarghhhhh!!
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  11. #11
    I love Lucy Xog's Avatar
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    M&M's, they DO exist! *faint*

  12. #12
    Pauk PaulOakenfold's Avatar
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    i am fully versed in the depths of gnomenclature
    Death Rides a Horse

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